Was it or is it really a "mistake" ???

What is my mistake?


Is it that i choose you
Or is it that you choose me


Is it that i trust you 
Or is it that you trust me


Is it that i am possessive about you
Or is it that you are possessive about me


Is it that i know you more than anyone in this world
Or is it that you know me more than anyone in this world


Is it that you are my priority
Or is it that i am your priority

Is it that i understand your silence 
Or is it that you understand my silence


Is it that you are an inevitable part of my life
Or is that i am an inevitable part of your life


Is it that i am afraid of the closeness that we share
Or is it that you are afraid of the closeness that we share 


Is it that i doubt my dedication
Or is it you doubt your dedication


Is it a really a mistake after all?
Or it is not a mistake after all
What is it???








Yes! indeed it is the best thing that has ever happened to me!!
I don't know about your's though!!!!

Avatar 6-7-8-9.....

 Mouth: You!!
            Go to hell!!
            Screw you!!
            **** off!!!


Brain: awwwww...gud work!


Mind: Ah!! how dare to use such "slangs" !!


Heart: <3 : oh boy!! i agree you are angry!! but just give it a thought you are angry with whom??? It's your friend not  your enemy!! so may be you can give "YOUR friend" a little time, some space ...may be they are going through tough times or so!!! Or may b they are little busy!!!!


Brain & mind: Phew!!! this heart is always so "melodramatic"




This is how it goes i guess...You struggle within.
And this struggle leaves you with no choice than leaving the "being" and moving ahead!!
 I am pretty sure all of us have gone through this kind of a thing at least once in our life-time. To an extent it is mandatory cause everyone is not just perfect!!  Life is not "picture-perfect" after all...


If you ask me what is life!!! I would rather say it's a different platform for all and what we all have in common in is it's up's and down's!! May be that's why it's so damn INTERESTING!!


It all begins like this : Hey you!! will you be my friend forever! or May be we can be best friends!!
Goes on an on an on...days-months-year-years-decades....


Then you are out of some institution with all the phone numbers, mail id, what not postal address for heaven's sake!!


You move on a complete different place ! Ah! a brand new place with no friends...
Now is when you miss your old buddies!! so now you are definitely in touch with them...Then you move on, they move on..
In some cases may b sometimes if you don't bug them, then they are like : Dude what's wrong!!
Or if you are that lucky to have real good friends , if you miss to keep in touch , they definitely stalk you till the end!!


But with some you just loose contacts like that!! Just like that!!  No matter how great buddies you are or you "were"..


So ultimately what you tend to do is just leave them.




But  suddenly one fine day a mail pops in in yr mail box something like this:

DON'T EVER LOOSE THE PERSON U REALLY LOVE ......... .........

Its a good touchy message.

It does

make sense and we should take the time every day

to do what it says.

Around the corner I have

a friend,

In this great city

that has no end,

Yet the days go by

and weeks rush on,

And before I know

it, a year is gone.

And I never see my

old friends face,

For life is a swift

and terrible race,

He knows I like him

just as well,

As in the days when

I rang his bell.

And he rang mine if,

we were younger then,

And now we are busy,

tired men.

Tired of playing a

foolish game,

Tired of trying to

make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I

will call on Jim"

"Just to show that

I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes

and tomorrow goes,

And distance between

us grows and grows.

Around the corner!

yet miles away,

"Here's a telegram

sir" "Jim died today."

And that's what we

get and deserve in the

end.

Around the corner, a

vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean.

If you love or like

someone, tell them.

Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and

tell someone what they mean to you. Because when

you decide that it

is the right time it might be too late.

Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most

importantly, stay

close to your friends and family, for they have

helped make you

the person that you are today.

after you have read this you become all that teary -eyed...Then you realize what you have been doing is not fair at all...So, you turn up calling up or meeting them...Few more days pass on...The same saga continues again...


One fine day you get an invitation to attend one friend's sister wedding..You become all that excited cause you will be meeting "them"...You go there and indeed you meet some friends...You are all happy or i guess over -joyed!!


Then again you are back to track ..And you become kinda close friends!! This is what you never expect to be happening...


Then one fine day you literally open up...why you have lost all contacts an all!!


Then here it comes:


Jantu: No girl!! It's always the other way round...You might loose contacts with other people but trust me gal!! never with "bachpan ke dost"... And you take this for granted...






And the name's jantu coz in every human there is a animal living!! :)


There are some people though who never get a chance to go out of their hometown...and we consider them the luckiest in terms of maintaining friendships...And it's all because they can meet up friends and so on...Once you are out of station things change...people change...


But what strikes the author is even these people are worse !! I mean they don't keep in touch ...


And ultimately what you see is a facebook friend request coming up and after few days...He/she is married!!




And sometimes even the author feels, as in "I" feel you should give time to people when they just step outside their over-protected boundary!! As in when they move to a new place with new people...


But what strikes me most is!!


Metallurgist: hii!! how are you?? what;s up wid you...an so on


Person on the other side of the phone: oh hii!... yeh yeh..hey can i call you later am kinda busy right now with my rumie!!


Author: Why the hell  is she busy??
Metallurgist : Busy gossiping wid rumie!!


Author: Wtf!! seriously i just don't get it!!


SO this is what you get to see...


Please can anyone tell me what's going on guys!!!!


And let me introduce you to a different being!! I bet these are one of a kind!!


One of a kind: hey you out there!! Yo ma "best friend"!!


And after everything they just start "avoiding" you !! Can you believe that! Avoiding!!
And here i ask you a question..If at all these"one of kind beasts" have to do this in the end,why the hell do they start all these???
Author's request: Please "BEWARE OF THESE KINDS" Cause it hurts a lot!! Darn it!!!


What ever!! this is how the whole thing is...so COMPLICATED!!






But what i want you to know is, please if you have a friend and he/she is a damn good friend of your's !! Don't ever loose them..No matter what it is! You hardly get such good ones... Go and tell them how important they are!! 




Important: name has been changed as to preserve their actual identity!!!


And but there are some stupid friends they never let go of you, they stalk you, they care for you and o course they love you...


And there are some the author has...And here is something dedicated to them:




They are stupids
They are idiots
They are little rascals


They love you
They hurt you even more
They fight with you
They scold you
They stalk you
They bug you


They inspire you 
They encourage you
They advice you
They compel you to do something that you never want to


They are "friends"
Treasure them!!!






And now you must be wondering why is this post titled "Avatar 6-7-8-9.... That's cause everything starts right from childhood and it continues...Avatar...6-7-8-9 represents different stages of life!! so i guess!!




And o course the author wants to thank some people for role play : The metallurgist, the person on the other side of the phone and last but not the least the one of a kind beast....Last is "Jantu" the character...




Signing off


"The author"








           

My love :p

This can’t be happening!! This can’t be happening to me!! Why me!! Why did you choose me!! I have  always been running away from you!! Far away where you cannot reach me... Rather it is perfect if I say I have been an escapist!!

After all these years of just being happy with my self,  suddenly out of nowhere you drop in and whisper into my ears “ I have come to take away your soul,  I have come to conquer your heart”… why in God’s name did you choose me???

I have always been an independent being and want to be the same for the rest of my life...And trust me it was going the way I have always wanted it to be, until you stepped into my small world and then ooph!! With a big bang!!! You changed my life!! Now everything starts with you and ends with you.. You have become my addiction. I am addicted to you…

Now that I have realised there’s a change in me I have started to hate this change.. Don’t know whether it is for the good or for the bad.. But whatever you have done to me is just charismatic!! Sometimes am overjoyed and sometimes so low that even I can’t hear my own heart beats!!

 I have been aware of this feeling for such a long time. I have felt the happiness as well as the pain.

You are all over my mind and soul... You are always in my thoughts, in my dreams, in my prayer.. You have become such an intimidating part of me…

And finally I confess I am falling in love with you!!

And its you my blog!! :p :D

And there i was standing in the middle of the aisle
Staring into those sparkling eyes
Following their gaze

And there i was listening to that voice
Feeling every word of it
Anticipating what exactly it holds in for me

And there i was standing too close
Invading the personal zone
Breathing the same air
Feeling the gush of air touch my skin

And there i was whispering to him
Trying to listen to his heartbeat

And there i was holding hands
Walking by the beach

And there i was sitting beside him
Trying to understand his silence

And there i was staring at him
Stalking him
Loving him

Till the time stopped spinning

And now here i am
Searching for those sparkling eyes
Longing for the passionate voice

It's "me" or "they"

They ask me about my family

I tell the i am the creation of my mom

I tell them i am the creation of my dad

They ask me about my life

I tell them i am very pleased with my life

I tell them i am very satisfied with my life

They ask me about my dreams

I tell them my dreams are endless

They tell me sky is the limit

I tell them infinity is my limit

They ask me about my wish

I tell them i don't wish for anything more than happiness, contentment in life

They ask me about love

I tell them you are my love, my love!!

They ask me about my creations

I tell them i am not the creator

I am the sculpture

And you are my artist

It’s you who designs me

It’s you who mutates me, my mind, my soul

They ask me about my indignation

I tell them it’s not indignation

I tell them it’s the poison that you have seeded in my heart

They ask me about my big fat "ego"

I tell them yes!!! It is my "EGO"

I tell them it’s the lioness roaring

They ask me about my thoughts

I tell them it’s you invading it

Corrupting it, modifying it

I tell them i am the sentinel protecting it from you

They ask me about my anger

I tell them it’s my fire

I tell them it’s my ice

They ask me about my fear

I tell them it’s you that i fear

It’s not the fear that fears me

They ask me about my memories

I tell them they are buried deep inside 

They ask me my darkest secret

I tell them it’s a "secret" hidden inside a horcrux!!

And you definitely have no rights to dig in

They ask about my pain

I tell them it’s my part of pain

I tell them it’s not yours

It's all mine

My pain, my wrath, my hurt

They ask me about my happiness

I tell them it’s in my heart

It’s in my eyes

It’s in my lips

And the reason is you

But then i think who are "they"

I wonder is it "they"

Is it "you"

Is it "him"

Is it "her"

Or simply it’s the "ME" in "me" that "me" is unaware of!!

Nostalgia speaks

                                                                Its true i mean it!!!

Its true i mean it..

I mean  every word of it

Long back it all started like greeting eachother

Then days passed on

We became bit friendly

We exchanged notes

We exchanged tiffins

Done with them before the actual break

We shared happiness

we shared excitement

we shared barrel of laughter

we shared secrets

that later used to become top secret

then it used to be like taking a vow,  not letting ne1 knw cos its top secret

keeping it  safe sealing it in our hearts forevr

we used to get ourselves drenched in the mizzle

getting drenched in the drizzle

splashing water all over

dirty shoes dirty us making the classroom grimy

enjoying the summer

the winter

the spring

the autumn

all together

we used to sneek peek in the break tym through a small way

through a impassable gate

climbing the walls

trying hard to get unnoticed

only to munch some hors d’oeuvres

playing games with unbeatable energy

with peerless enthusiasm

not looking back at the abrasion

goin on an on with the same invincible strength

being late to schul

getting punished

searching for art copy when suddenly sir used to come

when the painter in him used to roar high in spirits

days went on like dis..

then groups started forming

groups without groupism

groups without any  aspiration

just for sum lame reasons , those kiddish reasons

as days passed on we became best frens

best frens mean a lot dose days

dose days dose schul days dose childhood days

we used  to fight

we used to cry

we used to get angry wid our best buddies

we used to dream together

that we ll b all toghther

all d tym no matter what circumstances come our way

no matter what people say about us about our frens

as days passed on an on

things started heading towards a new  beigining

we started getting involved with our schoolwork

enjoying to the core under austere scrutinity

dancing to the feat of our instrumentalist

singing to the tunes of our lyricist

getting  involved in projects

goin places to work our brains off

the momentousness all dese things had then

learning new things with a peculiar excitement

having stepped into adolescence

evry day new feelings new emotions  new sentiments

intricate entangled within us

exploring our thoughts

searching for “us”

searching for our desire

days passed on

dose empty spaces in and around us

teemimg with frens

with bitter sweet memories

sand in the hourglass  flowing to the other half

days comin to an end

dose schul days

dose  marvelous  days

all gone with the wind

leaving us nostalgic when we ponder over it

now there are only memories

sweet memories

bitter memories

hilarious memories

leaving a lingering trail on our soul

flickering like the last gleam of a candle

don let it blow away

protect it, save it from vanishing into darkness

conceal it hard in your hearts....

treasure the thoughts,  the memories,  the unbreakable relationships

hold on tight

don let dese wonderful people leave you

hold on tight to these unspoken relationships

relationships that have filled in the blank pages of your life

relationships where you don have to be sum1 else

relationships where you don need to grow up

relationships where people love you cos its u

relationships where people worry about you

relationships where people feel the same pang in their heart when u suffer

If you think you need to spell out things that u v not in years..

If you feel you need a ear to listen upto you

If you feel you need a shoulder to cry

If you feel you need a fren to celebrate your success

If you feel you need a person to drag you from getting drowned in the poison

Its tym

Sand’s running out of the hour glass

Do it do it now

Hold on to your frens

Don let them leave you

Don let them forget you

Don let these memories fade away

Be the captivator

Sew them all in one thread

The thread of life

See life headings towards happiness

Happiness that will leave your soul with a feeling of  completeness

Feeling of joy

Feeling of not being lonely

Feeling of wholeness in life..