Even i have had enough of you!
Once upon a time you were the gleam of my eye!
But now you are that piece of my heart which i have already donated to someone else :P

If you think what we have is just perfect, then why call it a adjustment when it can be much more than that?

When you know where to reach me, then why accuse me or even ask lame baseless questions!

What if the world ended today! Dec 21st, 2012

Yipee! DECEMBER THE 21ST!

Hallelujah! And we are all alive!
This is the beginning of a new era! The "Mayans" almost killed us today! But we, the complicated human race survives! 
But what if it was my last day on earth, for that matter in my very own body!
What i would have done? And as far as this particular post is concerned, it is drafted the night before! But due to some personal reasons it is going to enter the world on Dec the 21st, 2012.
It definitely calls for a reunion of memories and thanks giving.
When i look back into those years of my precious life rather months, hours and even the seconds. There is just one thing that comes to my mind-and that is life surprises me! 
Days have been fun-filled, freaking awesome.
Days have been disgusting, incredibly sad.
But everyone get to live their good ones accompanied by their bad ones.
So be it for the good or the bad, hallelujah! 

And running all through these tremendous long years, i have met so many of you! In every you, there is "yes you"! With every new step forward towards the black hole, i learn i gain i capture and i gather. 
Every one of you, have given me memories!
Memories! Some of it i still remember and will always! Cos those belong to the treasure bag!
Some of it i forget, cos they were destined to! 
Some of it i pretend to forget, cos the reasons are translucent!
Some of it, the special ones i hide in a closet, inside a pensieve!
Some scrambled ones i cherish!

So when i or if i come down to your level or if i speak of my travel through each one of you, in simple words it is mind-boggling!
You have made me the person i am today!
For good and for the worse!
In sickness and in health! 
In love and in compassion!
In tears and in pain!
In anger and in ego!
In passion and in madness!

You have shown me the path of the river! That never stops, that never gives up! That moves on and that conquers!

So, I - the mirror of mankind, hereby make my confessions! Confessions of a thought! A long lost one! A new born! Once which also lived in some one else's mind!

I, by the rules of Aphrodite, confess that i am in love!

I, by the rules of a beautiful family, confess that without i would have perished deep down into the black hole.

I, by the green rules of nature, confess that that i would not have been alive if mother earth have not been so kind.

I, by the strong rules of friendship, confess that without you all, i would have been a nobody.

I, by the golden rules of trust and faith confess that, you made my life a lot more meaningful.

I, by the vast rules of the universe, thank you all.

All! if a i start defining "all" then this post will never touch the finish line!

But i will definitely thank the elements of my life:

The White and Red Pillars!

The Open-gate and the Fence!

The Water and Fish!

The Wind!

The Sea!

The Bridge!

The Group!

The Old Wine!

And " The madness that drives me crazy, when you say nothing at all"

Your's
Lonely Thursday night!

A QUEST: Whether to hold back or to throw up!

What happens when you are holding back way too much!!!!

1. Of course you loose your sanity!

2. Definitely you end up fighting with your heart, conclusion: peace is gone forever n ever 
     (forever n ever! well that was just to give you that fairy tale feeeeellll! Actually 
      speaking! Everything ends eventually :P)

3. Yeah! Bicharey tear glands! They are hyper stimulated!

4. Mind drifts away! Away where??? just away and far away!

5. Thoughts suffer severe blockade! 

6. You listen to loud music errr! atleast some call it that ( rock lovers! you know what it 
     means!)

7. Eh! you burrrn! and like Rihanna says! Just gonna stand there, watch meeee! BURN!   
     (from with in and something else also ;) )

8. You find absolute NIRVANA(pun-intended) in abandoned places! That is indirectly 
     proportional to the fact that it was the crowd, that you used to love earlier!

9. And they you drown! Not that drowning in the water or for that matter not even \   
     bathtub! Drown in the colorless fluid!

10. You become touchyyy! Which is itchyyyyy and bitchyyyyy!

11. Ah! And this one is quite a dangerous one! You stop socializing! You stop talking to 
      people! 

12. You run! Not physically but mentally!

13. And sabse important baat! Please pay attention!!!Well you get the opportunity to chit-
       chat with them! Well how??? Well for that you have to shift into a more convenient 
       mode! So your thoughts are open to any sort of ideas! ;)

Yeah! The ghosts! The spirits! Well in this case "the good ones" (not angels or for that matter not even guardian angels), and how they get to play a part in this whole emo----ish stuff!

( Disclaimer: The above mentioned facts are strictly based on real life and reel life experiences!) Has been featured in movies!

And as the intellectuals say" If you hold back too much- anger, insult, frustration, hatred, guilt and even happiness, love. You loose everything! You peace, your health and even wealth! So, spill it but at the same time you make sure no one is hurt! ( well contradicting my own rules! if you don't want to hurt anyone, then you hurt yourself)

So, now you know what to hold back and what to throw up!

And like i always say! Talking is easy! Even listening also! But practicing them! Way too difficult! But then who wants to be a saint! 

Your's

Secret Center 

U know it!
Cos u want to!
Cos u acquire it!
Cos u trust your intuitions!

U don't know!
Cos u don't want to!
You ignore!
Cos u restrict your mind!

"Mamamiya kero kero kero mama kero
Duniya bura mane to goli maro"

And it's you my love!

Why do you always have to love the wrong person!
Why do you always have to the trust the wrong person!

And they say leave it free!
If it's your's and if it's true! 
It will come back to you!

It's never like this!
If it's your's, say it!
Confess it before someone else grabs it!

And what if you let it go!
And it's true! 
And it never comes back!
Rather it takes a small diversion!
So does it indicate it was not true love?
Eh! As if i know! 
I write what i know of!
I speak what i think of!
I think what i assume of!

Errr! With all of this tides of emotions taking diversions after diversions, let me tell you something!
There is something called love. If you believe in it it comes to you, and if you don't it won't!
And it happens, just happens like that...Not once but even twice! God gives us many chances, it's just us! We have to identify it and make a story! A beautiful one! :) 
And if you ask the author about it! ha ha! She believes in birth and re-birth!

Cause you are living and you are dead the same very moment as i speak to you!

Signing off with lots of love
"Love-struck"

Assassinated emotion!

You are born!They choose a life for you!

You walk! They choose a path for you!

You run! They build a road for you!

You stop! They ask you why!

You take a turn! 

You innovate a new road! A new destination!

And you decide to run! Never to quit!

You seek the truth! You run behind it!

You hold it in your hands and then suddenly let it go!

You see the light! You grab it!

You keep it safe and then you bring back darkness!

You see the happiness! You hold on to it!

You treasure it and then you release it thinking it will come back!

And for a while it leaves you with a heavy heart! 

And as always to don't open up, you bury it or rather try to!

It multiplies within you! And you realize it with each breathe you take!

You cry

You struggle

You drink it through your heart

You smoke it through your mind

You shut your thoughts!

But in vain you know you are a human!

It bites you! cuts you! Hurts you till you are broken into small little pieces!

And then it acidifies you! 

You escape! You think you win!

And again it comes back! 

As always as you have loved it! 

You become blind! You forgive and forget!

And then again it leaves you!

But you know what is constant!

The feeling of completeness!

The feeling of wholeness!

The feeling of emptiness!

The feeling of loneliness! 

Ego consumes you!

You are a woman!

A strong woman!

You manage or atleast learn to!

You live, you change!

And when you realize you can't handle it anymore!

You run hard! and ever since then you hide!

But there are good times also!

Cause pain and pleasure are two faces of a emotion!

There is pain, that is why you know what gives you pleasure!

There is pleasure and that is why you know what pain is!

Even i am a human!

When i cry, you say ah! you cute little sentimental fool!

When i laugh, you say eh! so much of happiness!

When i shout, you say hawt! So much of anger!

When i run, you say escapist! So much to hide from!

When i love, you say it's an illusion! So much to vouch for! 

When i shut myself, you say huh desert! are you dead!

And you say, bind yourself!

And you say, open your mind!

And you say, talk to me!

And you say, love me!

And you say, you are a free bird!

It's always been about you!

You!

Your wish!

Your anger!

Your words and your death sentences!

But in the end! When i look at myself!

Am afraid! Afraid of loosing you!

Am empty! Emptiness is killing me!

I like the calm! I hate the crowd!

I love the silence and i disapprove of noise!

I don't know what i am gonna do to myself! But i definitely know what time is!

It teaches you some great things that no one tells you!

And one day when everything goes the mars way! 

Either i will be rescued or i will die!

Your's 

Night wanderer!

I don't know what strikes me hard!
Pain or the pleasure!

I don't know what hits me!
Happiness or grief!

I don't know what hurts me!
Lost or found!

I don't know what stings me!
Concern or freedom!

I don't know what bothers me!
Love or hatred!

I don't know what pacifies me!
Dagger or sword!

But i do know!

There is something deep, very deep indeed!
As hot as the fire, as cold as the ice!
The flame, the vibration, the dying light! 
These are parts of me! These are within me!

And i do know, yet i don't know!
That in the end everything eventually ends!
And in the end, rises a new sun!
Burning and glowing!
Red and yellow!
Orange and golden!

Being naked

Anything and everything naked is so appealing!
Naked sky
Naked moon
Naked eyes
Naked air
Naked water
Naked fire
Naked roads
Naked and naked and naked!
Naked thoughts!
Err not the perverted kind! The one with clear views!
Naked you!
Err not physically but mentally!
Where transparency gets to stay!
Where trusts grows!
Where friendship builds a niche!
Where love replicates!
Where i fall and fall back again!
Falling back in love with you!
I fight with the nakedness of my thoughts!

Zindegi ko dheere dheere... Dasti hain Khwahishein
AAnsun ko peete peete... Hansti hain Khwahishein
Ulji hui kashmakash mein, Umar kat jaati hai

Kyun yeh galat Khwaishein hain!

Just another addiction!

Addiction!

It becomes an addiction, when you let it take over you!

Becomes a habit, when you want it to!

Becomes a chore, when you do it and re-do it!

Becomes "just that another thing", when you don't care!


And much is the word which ends it or begins it!

Whether you have had much of it,
                   
You gradually taper and you eventually stop!

Whether you want more of it,
                   
You deliberately indulge in it, till it harbors with in!
                   
 And now it becomes an addiction!

Your's
" Baby I'm addicted and out of control
  But you are the only drug that keeps me from dying
  There's a storm in my head
   And it's raining in my bed! "

Can you?
Can you shut down your thoughts?

Yes!
No!

If yes! Then definitely! You have acquired the light!
Teach me! 

If no! Then of course you can join me!

You know what is difficult?
When you converse, and only you converse!
Instead of being a mutual assignment, it becomes very centered!
And even worse is when you realize that you have been doing it without any hesitation!
You open your eyes only when it  bites you back! Ahhh!
Otherwise you keep doing it!
Very singular and very frustrating!

But then where there's a will, there's definitely a way out!
A very long way out!
Keep running, you will surely find it!

Even i have been running for a long time!
But it never stops!
It never gives up!
But then who cares!

Rain brings you the season of love :)
Soaked, drenched and wet! 

To like is easy!
But liking you is difficult!

To love is easy!
But loving you is difficult!

To forgive is a virtue!
But forgiving you is difficult!

To forget is a virtue!
But forgetting you is difficult!

To embrace insanity is cool!
But embracing sanity is so difficult!

To act is brilliant!
But acting is difficult!

To dance is passionate!
But dancing is even more fun!

Whatever!
Whenever!
Whereever!

As long as you like it!
It is hawtt!

The moment you hate it!
It is cold!

Silence

Silence!
Helps you great deal!
Hits you bad!
Kills you from inside!
Keeps you safe!
Avoids conflict!
Harbors poison!
Awards you peace!
Offers you darkness!
Intensifies love!
Deepens hatred!
Swallows your instinct!
Opens your thought!
Hears you!
Speaks to you!
Follows your glow!
Hides your shadow!
Defines me!
Questions you!

Yours
 "They say my silence speaks!"

They say expectations kill you!
What if you can't give it up!

And even you think you have given up on them, you tend to loose your control!
And after years of stinging yourself with the pain finally you let go!

But just then an angel arrives!
Says! Let it go! Embrace the mother earth!
Let your emotions flow!
 So as angels are for real so you just let go!
With that faith
With that trust
With that hope 
You move on or at least try to!

But then what happens!
It happens!
Slowly and swiftly!
And the sting comes back!
You flush out the thoughts!
But yet again you open the Pandora's box of pain and pleasure!
And what happens! The same old thing starts to eat you!
I just wonder whether it's all in my head or it's in my senses!
It's all so blue!
It's all so red!
It's all so grey!
But it's not green!

Salvation!
Nirvana!
Peace!
Where are you!
Show me the path!
Show me the light!
Put an end to the darkness!

or else find me someone who can!

This is love! This is love, this is love!

Famous quotes:

" When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part"- Louis de Bernieres, in Captain Corelli's Mandolin

"Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body.. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away" - Louis de Bernieres, in Captain Corelli's Mandolin

" I may not be your first, but to be your last would be perfect." - Anonymous

Courtesy- Yahoo India- Top ten romantic quotes

And why this has a place in my blog!

Cause i loved them! 

And it's called preserving The WILD! 

Strange is easy!

Cos there's no past, cos there is no future!

Bas present!

Familiar is difficult!

Cos there's so much of past!

Cos there's this much wanted future!

And with each passing time, present gets more and more fragile!

Do you have any clue about any of this???

Cos i don't have any!

Awwww! so smoking hawwtttt!
Passionate!
Husky!
Lust!
Your voice!
Your penetrating eyes!
Your breathe against my skin!
Your touch!

Since when and kab tak!
Lekin jab tak, saans hai tab tak!

Akhir hai kya yeh! Kahan hai!
Na sunayi deta hai, na dikhayi!
Hai ka yeh!

Cos
"Life ki naughty kahani, hai yeh halkat jawani"

It really is amazing how our memory works!
It can hold, it can let go!
 But what really amazes me is, how we remember such minute things!
What truly is amazing is , when we forget things! Sometimes it's just impossible to take it!
I mean how on the earth is that possible!
One moment you are that one person " i remember everything"
And the other moment " you are that: yeah! no! what are you talking about?? i don't have any clue!" 

Sometimes its hard to believe!
Sometimes its just that you have to!

Even i have tried out this thing!
What really matters is how much you are true to yourself!

Kabhi bhi aur kahin bhi

Movie Version:

Hum ek baar jite hain!
Hum ek baar marte hain!
Pyaar bhi ek baar hota hai!

And what i think:

Hum jeete har pal hain
har woh pal jo suhana hota hai
har woh pal jo gawara hota hai

Hum marte roz hain
har woh lamha jab aap door hote hain
har woh lamha jab tanhaii paas hati hain

Aur pyaar!
Pyar ka kya hai!
Karna utna hi aasan, jitna nibhana muskil!
Kabhi bhi, kisise bhi, kisi mod per dastak de jati hai!
Farq sirf itta hai! Ki aap use kabool karte ho ki jaane dete ho!
Aakhir hai kya yeh pyaar!
Kaisi kashish hai, kaisi tadap hai!
Hai kya chezz! Koi batlado, koi jhotlado!
Koi bujha do yeh aag!, Koi laga do yeh aag!

Aaj hai, kal hai, aur parso bhi rahega!
Agar hai pyaar to!
Warna dil ka kya hai!
Kabhi yahan to kabhi wahan!
Kabhi idhar to kabhi udhar!

Haan pyaar hai, tumse!
tumhi se! 
Ise kya naam den! Pyaar ya pagalpan!

Cause i don't have any clue!

Speak to me

Talk to me

Listen to me

Look at me

I speak

I talk

I listen

I look

What defines a limit?

What defines a bond?

What defines closeness?

What defines intimacy?

You have answers

You have questions

You have problems

You have solutions

Something is so unreal

Something is so pleasant

Something is so lovely

Something is so fragile

Let go! Let go!

Oh! beautiful angel!

It isn't difficult!

Oh my lovely child!

Oh my sweet love!

How! 

I can't let go!

Is this what happens normally!

Is this what happens when you fall in  love!

Is this what happens when fall in love all over again!

Or this is just my illusion!

My piece of selfish thought!

My part of attachment!

What is it exactly?

One moment we are together!

And the next we are far apart!

One moment we are in each other's arm!

One moment we are in each other's thought!

And the next we are standing far away!

And the next we are away from each other's thought!

One moment we open those little secrets!

And the next moment we are as silent as the dark!

What is this?

What is this?

Do you have any clue?

Cos i don't have any?

Either am falling in love or this is my just my illusion!

Either this is what usually happens or this is what should not happen!

Listening to songs after songs!
Suddenly there's a familiar tune!
Such a lovely tune!
Beautiful beats
Soothing smoothness
And then comes those lyrics!
Ah! deep down i realize it is "THAT" song!
Our song!

An old diary!
Pages with then-so-important notes!- Birthdays, special moments!
Crippled chocolate wrappers!
Dried rose!
Cute little gifts!
Gift papers!
Letters!
Cards!
Old bunches of mail!
Brought back those old memories!

And you think you are special!
And you think you are unique!
And you think you are that one perfect piece!


But lemme tell you,
You are the same!
You do the same thing, that every other person does!
Then why in the earth do you think you are this special! 
Such an egoistic thought!

That green little stranger brought me luck!
Hush! we meet again! 
A little chat and then those sweet little words! 
Goodbye and good luck with what ever you do!
Smiles all over the place! 

Emotions vs Logic!

Why it is always difficult to let go!
Why it is always difficult to trust again!
Why it is always difficult to love again!
Why it is always difficult to face the reality!
Why it is always difficult to hold on!
Why it is always difficult to rip off the past!
And why it is always difficult to put in a composed piece of thought!


Even i don't have any clue about what i just wrote! I mean the answers are silly! Not the questions  of course! Why would that be! those were my questions right! Well if you twitch my little brain! stop smirking! I have and everyone has some piece of ....errrr fragments of questions! They are just questions! Just innumerable amount of staggered interfaces! And i have, well i wouldn't say just one but yes they are those strongly build pillars of a place called me, my strengths and weaknesses, they fire me with answers! Be it sweet or be it tough! but then that's what pillars do right! always by your side, no matter what and by which velocity it strikes but they are just right beside you, holding you firmly to never ever leave you!
Everyone has such pillars, that's very generic but if at all you think you don't! Then open up your eyes and there some where in the dark, those pillar will be standing tall! So now my dear reader or should i say my listener, might be thinking what is it with her and relationships and friendship and for tat matter love and hatred! Well let me spank you right on your trail of thoughts! Relationships! i wouldn't say am an expert but i have my share of thoughts that i wish to share.
Where do i start and where do i end! It's always been that difficult to cling on to at least one thought of mine! There are many, they are like that bird of phoenix, they are born and then they burn themselves in their own fire an turn into ashes! But form those i of course pick a few!
And a few! is great deal! Relationships! Well i don't have a definition but i do have something called as a thing with a velvet touch and a fire place! Depends on you, which one you opt for!
People usually tell me, am different with everyone! I sort of know that, but knowing me from the inside, i feel it's the person what matters, i can be both at the same time! I thought that is what we call adaptive! I am a human! I have my sets of fear, my anguish, my piece of pain! Everyone has it anyway.
I really wonder how those writers, for that matter my own parents, how do they do that! I mean i always find myself  jumping from one thought to another and sometimes it just flickers out like an ECG! It's real difficult or might be a cause for the way i am! Very distracted! I don't know! I wish to find a golden key to it! Well nevermid! The war should go on! The cold war that i  & my heart always have with the brain! Emotions always fight with logic! And fighting for long hours, bearing that stress and ultimately what happens! emotions give up! Just keeping everything aside! Sitting idle in the room awaiting for the light to take over!
Why do i talk so much when i don't actually! I don't know or it's the blog that makes to talk! However, it's always been the vent! And i love it! Sometimes i really wonder how it will be when my man will read it! Yeah true i havent traced " The one", but when i do, i would! But am not sure about the would part! (chuckles) And there is one more thing that i have realized, as we grow up, our thought and desires and what else! Everything becomes so streamlined and in fact we become more bold, when we talk about our feelings! Which is why i say, it always feels great to be insane and mad( in a good way)!
Oh god! again deviation from the topic!
Why is that that you always look for logic! Why is that you always have to be practical! Why can't you leave that oh so perfectly manicured logic for sometime! Naah! not that easy i guess!
Life gives us right at the face! And we should be able to take that shit!
Taking of friendships! I know i have many, and i treasure them!
Some are very easy going, where in u don't know when you have mixed that sherbat in your oh not so perfect life! They laugh with theirs guts out, care for you, love you and more definitely stand with you! So that's the one, then your score is a sure shot 10 out of 10.
Some are very aspiring, very challenging and very selfish kind, so what do you do! You just take it and give it! And you are done!
Some are like those little toddlers learning to walk-run-talk! They grow old with us! They are those pillars i was talking about earlier! They are true to you! If its good, its good and if its bad its bad! You don't get that benefit of doubt here!
And again there are the old ones! That kinds you say you are in a relationship with them say for such long years! The part of your teenage, the part of your college, hostels and even the work place! I have a bunch! I wouldnt call them my best friends rather they are a scrap book part of me! They move along with you, they dance with you, they cry with you( that was cos you think you were going to be far apart after the college) and when you are old enough they share a drink! So as i always say! If you have such lovely ones! Never let them go! See i always have this fear somewhere deep inside me! What if they leave us! Just like that! Or gradually! Oh god! Its always you! What have you done to me! Or sometimes i just wonder it is just me! That was holding on, suffocating you to death! Well sometimes it is just easy to let go! But the period before that! That cold war that you have with your inner self! breaks you, shakes you and then punches you right in the face! But in the end, whatever happens, as they always say, happens for a good reason! And if you, I and all others just live by the thought" whatever happens to you, happens for a good reason" it is definitely easier!  But we are no saints! We are the same adam and eves! And the Saitan is still very alluring!


"When they ask me-" have you met someone", I want to say-'yes", but then when i look through the telescopic zoom of my life, i realize that i have met many"someone's". They come, they stay and finally they leave! But when i look at myself! I realize, i am standing in the very same damned place! I deny to just move on! That is why i always say! It is difficult to let go of things!

Some are like the spine of your own bony self. It looks like the same old spine with the intricacy of cocyxx, sacrum, lumbar... But when go deep with in, you come to know of the challenges, the disc, the marrow! Like that, when you look at a relationship it feels so easy... Just go on and on and on...But when you move with it not move into it! Then you realize, how difficult it is to cope up, to face the challenges and mend those three mistakes of life! As the human lives with in you, you would not let go of such a kind! So you try harder this time! I mean as far as i am concerned, i learn a lot with each passing day. Yes it does upset me at times, but then that is the whole point of it! You grow within and with it! At times it is the most maddening, frustrating but some how it feels right! So damn right! Even sometimes i wonder what to do when all these would change one day! But then everyone is afraid of the future right! Am not the only one! So be it that way! but i am proud, i am lucky, i am lucky enough to have so many experiences. As i move on with my life, as i grow in that niche, i always thank god to have blessed me with such wonderful "someones"...... Cause Baby! Life is beautiful! And you make it more beautiful in just surviving in it! With all these going on, you do have expectations, i have. And i used to have! Though being constantly being hurt and molded, i thought i will just let go of all these! No expectations, no pain...But then as i run on that jogging track of my life! I come to a halt! Suddenly realization dawns on me! I know , i can't stop my expectations although i can modify it! And that i know this, i find it much easier to run rather to just walk! I had my calling! But then life never treats everyone the same way! So with the supreme ability to cope and adapt ourselves, humans! Yeah that's us! We form and reform our emotions and when we want the pain to stop we start applying a logic! That's a much easier one! 
Running away, escaping and for that matter even hiding would never ever clean your soul! Cos 
Every Now And Then my soul speaks, screams, shouts and heals...Extinguishing the fire! Spilling the ice cold water over it and over again! 

And here i feel i am by my own self again! 
Writing and spilling!
Loving and living!
Observing and capturing!


Cause who knows baby! What will hunt me down or who or when! 

Putting that black duck tape to my thoughts!
Signing off
" The soul hears it, but you can't "

And they say! Run away! Run away far! Hide! So that no one finds you! 
But what about your inner goddess! You can't hide! You can't shut your thoughts!


But many a times the author just wants to run away! Run away far! Shut herself from the world!
Few moments of slience..Mein aur meri tanhaiii..aksar yeh batein karti hain...Ek hum hote aur bas hum hote! Firkya tha! aap! aur kuch chaand lamhe! Samet lete apne daman mein kuch ankahe anjaane se khawabon-khayal!

Innocence

What color is your happiness? Mine is red!

Being bewildered

Falling in love does not always mean that you fall in love!
Loving someone doesn't mean you love them enough!
Being madly deeply truly in love doesn't mean it will be forever and ever and ever!
Forever and ever and ever kind of love dies in the book!
Books definitely indulge you in kinda passion, love and feathery emotions!
You learn with time, you learn with indulgence, you learn by sharing!
You dream, fantasize, you love with your heart and soul!
Being practical brings you to ground zero!
Love, trust, passion, dreams, indulgence, honest and sufferings gel well!
I still don't understand where being practical fits in!
And what is that will award happiness to your soul!
I wish i have an answer!
I wish i have a choice!
I wish i could just love and love enough!
I wish i could just live by and love by being practical!
I do what you do!


Come show me the breach! 
Come show me the light!
Enlighten me!


Sometimes being practical gives you a scar, that never heals but partially fills up with time!

Your's 
Bewildered!

"That awkward moment! When you say wasnt yday's concert amazing! and your cook says yeah it was similar to his gaon-wali-orchestra"

Intuitions: your's or mine!!

Sometimes i really wonder if it's the intuition that works so very well or it's the nature of adapting so very well to the given clinical condition!
Intuitions if you ask me! 
I always used to think something magical like this really exists! 
And with legal evidence from the past the fact is well proven! 
If you strongly believe in something, if you willingly want a thing or if you think that hard and last but not the least if you truly miss something or for that matter someone...It really does happen! Don't you think so???
This piece of thought is just an opinion, i know some of you will agree and some won't! But then its just my piece of a pie!
Yeah what else! When you ask me this tricky question o course! Thinking very hard, it's always better to  go with the gut-feeling or that strong intuition! 
It's always been this way round for me! And the moments when i had just over-looked my intuitions! I regret!..
And now a days...with hell lot of changes, not being really that adaptive or that supportive or that errr! yeah! not exactly being open about things! That "bhad me jaa" kinda attitude! or who cares! what does it matter anyway to you! This rough way life's so easy! You really don't have to go through all the hardships, sadness n what else yeah! the emotional nag! yup! And in the middle of all this if you ask me whether i believe in intuitions or not! I am like! Yeah! i know there is something similar to this! Lately it used to be ma piece of believe and now it's just another strong yet ignored thought! But vaguely somehow it still lives with in and continues to prove it's very sacred way of existence!

And how about the author! 
Yeah then lemme tell you!
"The Author" still believes in " intuitions"
And she will continue to believe that behind every strong grant of wish, hides a strong intuition" 

Signing off
"The intuitive soul"

Romancing the shadow!

With all these years of feeding on novels, living with them, fantasizing about them and then finally a part of one story, it just feels so right...Cos behind every light there is dark and behind every picture there's a story you just need to solve the mystery! 
I guess this is an inevitable part of a girl's life, the fairy tales, romantic novels and a transposition to fashion magazine! And the once she is a women she indulges herself in good house keeping or some other more feminine magazines...And for some the whole world revolves around their kids..Their one and only walking piece of story..Every day a new story...So if i must say! It all depends on the situation and surrounding! Ah! yeah i did forget the famous mills and boon...That's something mushy! lolzzz And ten falling in love with the strong character, and what not dreaming of the Mr. Right! Loving in the head and romancing in the thoughts...The male baritone voice, the heated passion and of course the ruggedness! Ah! so much inviting...Now when i think of all this..it seems so funny..i guess that's why they say...everything has a specific age!...
And if you ask me, yeah the author of this blog...I started reading short stories, strange mysteries and then came the much loved Harry potter series...I found a complete new world while feeding upon these books...I remember getting in between my sleep and literally blabbering about some magical potions! Gosh! those good old days...And then as i was growing up..read all sidney's, some robin cook, some micheal crichton and as far as i remember even the Dan Brown one's......And then i was introduced to this very new concept of vampires! and after that  there was no looking back....i fell in love with two characters! yeah much anticipated: Edward Cullen and Jacob Black! so yeah the list will go on.. as along as i find myself a muse! hehhehehe...Muse! a tricky word indeed! And they say opposites attract...As long as i am alive, this falling in love with the virtual characters will be a continuous process..just like a continuous learner a whole life...so a continuous lover a whole life! Love live and let live! I guess that's the whole funda of living! 
And this unique hunger for art. literature! Comes from my genes...SO if you have to really blame someone! In case you want to! Then blame the genes babe! :D Not really! In my case it just bloomed a little late...And once there orifice has been created, there's no filling up! Thoughts just seem to get electrified!
And currently fir the this particular post...if i say s..what is the whole purpose of scribbling down a post...it's about my new found love...I write so much about love! And they say am just some unconquered soul! What an irony! Never mind! "Chalo jo bhi hua jaane do" :) 
This piece or firework has been running in my head for along time, but gathering all the little scrapes of thoughts isn't that easy..And what motivated me! A new pen! A new letter pad! Gosh! just in the middle of some scientific session i started scribbling down my thoughts! Now i understand why these stationary goods  used to drive my mother crazy! 
And what i noticed is there's a different change in me! I stopped feeding upon novels...I mean how is that even possible for a person who used to indulge herself in reading so much! Oh yeah definitely not the course book! wink wink! 
It' not because i din't want to
It's not because i found a new love
But because it had stopped growing on me!
But the passion of buying books never stopped me! Therefore the spirit is still alive i guess! So after buying and stacking them altogether..one fine day..i was told about a book entitled "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom!...It was a monday..I immediately ordered it via flipkart...and then the very next day...the book came to me on a tuesday! what a coincidence!..it took few days to get into those reading shoes...and i started my book:) Trust me if i look at my genre! this one is completely "hatke" i am not usually into these kinda stuff...It has a peculiar persona about it! Words of a dying man, his life , his pain, his happiness, his loss, and the bond between a student and a teacher...This book reflects a different phase of living with the dead! I don't why i am liking every word of it! Cos the kind of person i am1 even the thought of death sends thrills deep down my spine! I usually avoid such stuff! Things that am afraid of or i don't really connect to, i run away very hard!  That's how i am! But after sniffing on few pages of this book, it gives me complete new strength to fight the invincible death! 
Few lines from the book:
"But there still seemed to be no clear answers. 
Do you take care of others or do you take care of your"inner child"?
Return to traditional values or reject tradition as useless?
Seek success or seek simplicity?
Just say no or just do it?"

Am still reading the book....and till now what i have concluded is...A wonderful book..enlightens your inner self, changes your outlook of life, makes it more meaningful...Or should i say gives a new dimension to your life...and those who have read the book they know it for their own good..and those who have not...guys! grab a copy today! But start reading it on a tuesday..gives you a completely unusual experience...For this post i think i will stop here..cos there are too many"mixed feelings"....And the book review will follow in my next post... till then as i always say! 
I am an unconquered soul!
I am an inevitable life!
I am a free soul!
I am a blind shadow!
Touch me, twist me but never stop me!
"Romancing the shadow! why when how! cos every character has a shadow! "

Your's 
Lost soul!

When you are confused whether to be happy or sad about anything! you can just wipe off your confusion by saying these two magical words" MIXED FEELINGS" !

Myth busted

Faux-pas! : Everything lasts forever and ever! 
With days passing by and the sands of time flowing out of the hour glass...Strong becomes the believe that nothing lasts forever!
The fast you realize the better!
And after all of these changing times you ask me to close my eyes, stop my biased process of thoughts and concentrate on just one thing"everything lasts forever"....
How is that even possible!!!  
And they say everything has a particular age, and once you are out of that "particular age"....the bubble bursts! and there you lie life-less, clue-less and i don't know what else!

So as i say! Let's talk about feelings..just feelings...
You say! so what's the next line...Feelings, more and more of it! Now you are killing me with an over dosage..and no place for logic!!!!! 


Just like i say! If you relate to a story you like it! And if you don't, you won't!

Yeah! For a photo! You can stand anywhere and almost everywhere!