Why it is always difficult to let go!
Why it is always difficult to trust again!
Why it is always difficult to love again!
Why it is always difficult to face the reality!
Why it is always difficult to hold on!
Why it is always difficult to rip off the past!
And why it is always difficult to put in a composed piece of thought!
Even i don't have any clue about what i just wrote! I mean the answers are silly! Not the questions of course! Why would that be! those were my questions right! Well if you twitch my little brain! stop smirking! I have and everyone has some piece of ....errrr fragments of questions! They are just questions! Just innumerable amount of staggered interfaces! And i have, well i wouldn't say just one but yes they are those strongly build pillars of a place called me, my strengths and weaknesses, they fire me with answers! Be it sweet or be it tough! but then that's what pillars do right! always by your side, no matter what and by which velocity it strikes but they are just right beside you, holding you firmly to never ever leave you!
Everyone has such pillars, that's very generic but if at all you think you don't! Then open up your eyes and there some where in the dark, those pillar will be standing tall! So now my dear reader or should i say my listener, might be thinking what is it with her and relationships and friendship and for tat matter love and hatred! Well let me spank you right on your trail of thoughts! Relationships! i wouldn't say am an expert but i have my share of thoughts that i wish to share.
Where do i start and where do i end! It's always been that difficult to cling on to at least one thought of mine! There are many, they are like that bird of phoenix, they are born and then they burn themselves in their own fire an turn into ashes! But form those i of course pick a few!
And a few! is great deal! Relationships! Well i don't have a definition but i do have something called as a thing with a velvet touch and a fire place! Depends on you, which one you opt for!
People usually tell me, am different with everyone! I sort of know that, but knowing me from the inside, i feel it's the person what matters, i can be both at the same time! I thought that is what we call adaptive! I am a human! I have my sets of fear, my anguish, my piece of pain! Everyone has it anyway.
I really wonder how those writers, for that matter my own parents, how do they do that! I mean i always find myself jumping from one thought to another and sometimes it just flickers out like an ECG! It's real difficult or might be a cause for the way i am! Very distracted! I don't know! I wish to find a golden key to it! Well nevermid! The war should go on! The cold war that i & my heart always have with the brain! Emotions always fight with logic! And fighting for long hours, bearing that stress and ultimately what happens! emotions give up! Just keeping everything aside! Sitting idle in the room awaiting for the light to take over!
Why do i talk so much when i don't actually! I don't know or it's the blog that makes to talk! However, it's always been the vent! And i love it! Sometimes i really wonder how it will be when my man will read it! Yeah true i havent traced " The one", but when i do, i would! But am not sure about the would part! (chuckles) And there is one more thing that i have realized, as we grow up, our thought and desires and what else! Everything becomes so streamlined and in fact we become more bold, when we talk about our feelings! Which is why i say, it always feels great to be insane and mad( in a good way)!
Oh god! again deviation from the topic!
Why is that that you always look for logic! Why is that you always have to be practical! Why can't you leave that oh so perfectly manicured logic for sometime! Naah! not that easy i guess!
Life gives us right at the face! And we should be able to take that shit!
Taking of friendships! I know i have many, and i treasure them!
Some are very easy going, where in u don't know when you have mixed that sherbat in your oh not so perfect life! They laugh with theirs guts out, care for you, love you and more definitely stand with you! So that's the one, then your score is a sure shot 10 out of 10.
Some are very aspiring, very challenging and very selfish kind, so what do you do! You just take it and give it! And you are done!
Some are like those little toddlers learning to walk-run-talk! They grow old with us! They are those pillars i was talking about earlier! They are true to you! If its good, its good and if its bad its bad! You don't get that benefit of doubt here!
And again there are the old ones! That kinds you say you are in a relationship with them say for such long years! The part of your teenage, the part of your college, hostels and even the work place! I have a bunch! I wouldnt call them my best friends rather they are a scrap book part of me! They move along with you, they dance with you, they cry with you( that was cos you think you were going to be far apart after the college) and when you are old enough they share a drink! So as i always say! If you have such lovely ones! Never let them go! See i always have this fear somewhere deep inside me! What if they leave us! Just like that! Or gradually! Oh god! Its always you! What have you done to me! Or sometimes i just wonder it is just me! That was holding on, suffocating you to death! Well sometimes it is just easy to let go! But the period before that! That cold war that you have with your inner self! breaks you, shakes you and then punches you right in the face! But in the end, whatever happens, as they always say, happens for a good reason! And if you, I and all others just live by the thought" whatever happens to you, happens for a good reason" it is definitely easier! But we are no saints! We are the same adam and eves! And the Saitan is still very alluring!
"When they ask me-" have you met someone", I want to say-'yes", but then when i look through the telescopic zoom of my life, i realize that i have met many"someone's". They come, they stay and finally they leave! But when i look at myself! I realize, i am standing in the very same damned place! I deny to just move on! That is why i always say! It is difficult to let go of things!
Some are like the spine of your own bony self. It looks like the same old spine with the intricacy of cocyxx, sacrum, lumbar... But when go deep with in, you come to know of the challenges, the disc, the marrow! Like that, when you look at a relationship it feels so easy... Just go on and on and on...But when you move with it not move into it! Then you realize, how difficult it is to cope up, to face the challenges and mend those three mistakes of life! As the human lives with in you, you would not let go of such a kind! So you try harder this time! I mean as far as i am concerned, i learn a lot with each passing day. Yes it does upset me at times, but then that is the whole point of it! You grow within and with it! At times it is the most maddening, frustrating but some how it feels right! So damn right! Even sometimes i wonder what to do when all these would change one day! But then everyone is afraid of the future right! Am not the only one! So be it that way! but i am proud, i am lucky, i am lucky enough to have so many experiences. As i move on with my life, as i grow in that niche, i always thank god to have blessed me with such wonderful "someones"...... Cause Baby! Life is beautiful! And you make it more beautiful in just surviving in it! With all these going on, you do have expectations, i have. And i used to have! Though being constantly being hurt and molded, i thought i will just let go of all these! No expectations, no pain...But then as i run on that jogging track of my life! I come to a halt! Suddenly realization dawns on me! I know , i can't stop my expectations although i can modify it! And that i know this, i find it much easier to run rather to just walk! I had my calling! But then life never treats everyone the same way! So with the supreme ability to cope and adapt ourselves, humans! Yeah that's us! We form and reform our emotions and when we want the pain to stop we start applying a logic! That's a much easier one!
Running away, escaping and for that matter even hiding would never ever clean your soul! Cos
Every Now And Then my soul speaks, screams, shouts and heals...Extinguishing the fire! Spilling the ice cold water over it and over again!
And here i feel i am by my own self again!
Writing and spilling!
Loving and living!
Observing and capturing!
Cause who knows baby! What will hunt me down or who or when!
Putting that black duck tape to my thoughts!
Signing off
" The soul hears it, but you can't "
Why it is always difficult to trust again!
Why it is always difficult to love again!
Why it is always difficult to face the reality!
Why it is always difficult to hold on!
Why it is always difficult to rip off the past!
And why it is always difficult to put in a composed piece of thought!
Even i don't have any clue about what i just wrote! I mean the answers are silly! Not the questions of course! Why would that be! those were my questions right! Well if you twitch my little brain! stop smirking! I have and everyone has some piece of ....errrr fragments of questions! They are just questions! Just innumerable amount of staggered interfaces! And i have, well i wouldn't say just one but yes they are those strongly build pillars of a place called me, my strengths and weaknesses, they fire me with answers! Be it sweet or be it tough! but then that's what pillars do right! always by your side, no matter what and by which velocity it strikes but they are just right beside you, holding you firmly to never ever leave you!
Everyone has such pillars, that's very generic but if at all you think you don't! Then open up your eyes and there some where in the dark, those pillar will be standing tall! So now my dear reader or should i say my listener, might be thinking what is it with her and relationships and friendship and for tat matter love and hatred! Well let me spank you right on your trail of thoughts! Relationships! i wouldn't say am an expert but i have my share of thoughts that i wish to share.
Where do i start and where do i end! It's always been that difficult to cling on to at least one thought of mine! There are many, they are like that bird of phoenix, they are born and then they burn themselves in their own fire an turn into ashes! But form those i of course pick a few!
And a few! is great deal! Relationships! Well i don't have a definition but i do have something called as a thing with a velvet touch and a fire place! Depends on you, which one you opt for!
People usually tell me, am different with everyone! I sort of know that, but knowing me from the inside, i feel it's the person what matters, i can be both at the same time! I thought that is what we call adaptive! I am a human! I have my sets of fear, my anguish, my piece of pain! Everyone has it anyway.
I really wonder how those writers, for that matter my own parents, how do they do that! I mean i always find myself jumping from one thought to another and sometimes it just flickers out like an ECG! It's real difficult or might be a cause for the way i am! Very distracted! I don't know! I wish to find a golden key to it! Well nevermid! The war should go on! The cold war that i & my heart always have with the brain! Emotions always fight with logic! And fighting for long hours, bearing that stress and ultimately what happens! emotions give up! Just keeping everything aside! Sitting idle in the room awaiting for the light to take over!
Why do i talk so much when i don't actually! I don't know or it's the blog that makes to talk! However, it's always been the vent! And i love it! Sometimes i really wonder how it will be when my man will read it! Yeah true i havent traced " The one", but when i do, i would! But am not sure about the would part! (chuckles) And there is one more thing that i have realized, as we grow up, our thought and desires and what else! Everything becomes so streamlined and in fact we become more bold, when we talk about our feelings! Which is why i say, it always feels great to be insane and mad( in a good way)!
Oh god! again deviation from the topic!
Why is that that you always look for logic! Why is that you always have to be practical! Why can't you leave that oh so perfectly manicured logic for sometime! Naah! not that easy i guess!
Life gives us right at the face! And we should be able to take that shit!
Taking of friendships! I know i have many, and i treasure them!
Some are very easy going, where in u don't know when you have mixed that sherbat in your oh not so perfect life! They laugh with theirs guts out, care for you, love you and more definitely stand with you! So that's the one, then your score is a sure shot 10 out of 10.
Some are very aspiring, very challenging and very selfish kind, so what do you do! You just take it and give it! And you are done!
Some are like those little toddlers learning to walk-run-talk! They grow old with us! They are those pillars i was talking about earlier! They are true to you! If its good, its good and if its bad its bad! You don't get that benefit of doubt here!
And again there are the old ones! That kinds you say you are in a relationship with them say for such long years! The part of your teenage, the part of your college, hostels and even the work place! I have a bunch! I wouldnt call them my best friends rather they are a scrap book part of me! They move along with you, they dance with you, they cry with you( that was cos you think you were going to be far apart after the college) and when you are old enough they share a drink! So as i always say! If you have such lovely ones! Never let them go! See i always have this fear somewhere deep inside me! What if they leave us! Just like that! Or gradually! Oh god! Its always you! What have you done to me! Or sometimes i just wonder it is just me! That was holding on, suffocating you to death! Well sometimes it is just easy to let go! But the period before that! That cold war that you have with your inner self! breaks you, shakes you and then punches you right in the face! But in the end, whatever happens, as they always say, happens for a good reason! And if you, I and all others just live by the thought" whatever happens to you, happens for a good reason" it is definitely easier! But we are no saints! We are the same adam and eves! And the Saitan is still very alluring!
"When they ask me-" have you met someone", I want to say-'yes", but then when i look through the telescopic zoom of my life, i realize that i have met many"someone's". They come, they stay and finally they leave! But when i look at myself! I realize, i am standing in the very same damned place! I deny to just move on! That is why i always say! It is difficult to let go of things!
Some are like the spine of your own bony self. It looks like the same old spine with the intricacy of cocyxx, sacrum, lumbar... But when go deep with in, you come to know of the challenges, the disc, the marrow! Like that, when you look at a relationship it feels so easy... Just go on and on and on...But when you move with it not move into it! Then you realize, how difficult it is to cope up, to face the challenges and mend those three mistakes of life! As the human lives with in you, you would not let go of such a kind! So you try harder this time! I mean as far as i am concerned, i learn a lot with each passing day. Yes it does upset me at times, but then that is the whole point of it! You grow within and with it! At times it is the most maddening, frustrating but some how it feels right! So damn right! Even sometimes i wonder what to do when all these would change one day! But then everyone is afraid of the future right! Am not the only one! So be it that way! but i am proud, i am lucky, i am lucky enough to have so many experiences. As i move on with my life, as i grow in that niche, i always thank god to have blessed me with such wonderful "someones"...... Cause Baby! Life is beautiful! And you make it more beautiful in just surviving in it! With all these going on, you do have expectations, i have. And i used to have! Though being constantly being hurt and molded, i thought i will just let go of all these! No expectations, no pain...But then as i run on that jogging track of my life! I come to a halt! Suddenly realization dawns on me! I know , i can't stop my expectations although i can modify it! And that i know this, i find it much easier to run rather to just walk! I had my calling! But then life never treats everyone the same way! So with the supreme ability to cope and adapt ourselves, humans! Yeah that's us! We form and reform our emotions and when we want the pain to stop we start applying a logic! That's a much easier one!
Running away, escaping and for that matter even hiding would never ever clean your soul! Cos
Every Now And Then my soul speaks, screams, shouts and heals...Extinguishing the fire! Spilling the ice cold water over it and over again!
And here i feel i am by my own self again!
Writing and spilling!
Loving and living!
Observing and capturing!
Cause who knows baby! What will hunt me down or who or when!
Putting that black duck tape to my thoughts!
Signing off
" The soul hears it, but you can't "
