Insecurity-You have one?

Do we all have insecurities?

Or is it just that some of us are smart enough to hide them?

Or some of us don't have?

I don't have answers for this one. There are hundred and one questions that are running through my head right now, but don't they compete with each other every time i try to figure out some answers! And the one that catches my fancy, troubles me even more.

Sometimes i just wander whether it's fair to stay occupied ? Well whether it's fair to you am not really sure but it definitely is not the best thing for the people around you! But being preoccupied keeps you sane though!
Staying occupied consumes you, staying preoccupied kills you!
Which is your take? If you ask me, well i am not so sure whether being preoccupied keeps me sane and kills me from within!
And a little insecurity takes you everywhere and any where at the same time! There comes a moment you think you have everything that makes you happy!! errr even more happier! And there comes a time when you think what is that thing that will make you happy! 
Insecurities are part and parcel of life! Without them you won't even know where you stand in your vicious journey of life! Why viscous! Well life keep on looping and un-looping!
 Let me ask you a question, No matter how secure you are, there comes a time in life when you are not sure what to do! So what would you call it? Insecurity? Fear? Clueless? 
There comes a time when everything you have is not enough?
What would you do then?
There comes a time when the truth you have been living with all these years turns out to be total bomber. Would you close your eyes? Would you stop believing? 
There comes a time when the great thing you have together seems so void?
What would you do? WOuld you stop growing together? 
We all have, had or might have insecurities! You have to learn to live with that. You have to accept the fact you have insecurities! There is nothing to be ashamed of! I agree i have a hell lot of insecurities! I always had and i will continue to have more and more of them! 
You know what i did when i had them earlier, i never accepted them so it ate me!
You know what i do now, i welcome them with my open arms and let them sit on the porch of my life!
You know what will do tomorrow, i will grow with them!
Insecurities are part of you and some or the other way they make you the person you are today! They make you stronger! And who cares what people think of you as long as you are sane!

So live with it! Dine with it! 
Dance with it! Paint with it!

Cause it is going nowhere, find a way to battle them!

Your's
There's always a Mr.Big in everyone's life!

Is it a fling or am i in a relationship?

I just wonder whether it's a fling or am i in a serious relationship with chocolates! It's been the second week am indulging in lots n lots of chocolate therapy!!! But it does help! It does lifts my spirits!

Are chocolate ice creams girl's new best friend? Or should I say the old best friend! We know, old is gold!

 I usually wonder, why is that every time I think of you the very next thought following it is a bowl of real rich dark chocolate ice cream. Though being on the higher side of BMI, I am supposed to watch for that little xtra with an x weight that I should'n put on..

But sometimes you know what a girl needs? A little something that makes her happy..and that can range from a bowl of ice cream to a bar of chocolate, 

from a heart melting smile to a big bear hug 

from a little phone call to a silent time with someone she loves.

We are women and some of us are materialistic and some of us are not. But what really matters is what makes us happy? What keeps us off the bar!!

But then is it that we need a ice cream to make us happy? Is it that we a need a chocolate therapy to cheer us up? Is it that we need to shop to make us happy? Sometimes i just wonder is it just the hormones that initiates the cravings or it's just me! But what about others? What we have in common is we are women and we have the same hormones running through us but the peak of these hormones is what actually matters! 

What keeps us with you and what keeps us without you. If you make us happy, you make us happy...isn't that the logical thinking that you brag about?? 

Yes man! You make me happy!

 Sometimes it's easier to be like everybody else than being yourself!!

There's so much bitterness biting my soul, even the darkest chocolate tastes sweet!

Your's
I surrendered everything 
To feel the chance to live again!

They say distance makes your heart grow fonder!
I say it clears your head!

Cauldron of feelings!

My life was complete until you came in
My life was hassle free until you were born
My life was full until the till and until the still

Like i always say there is a you in you
Like i always say that you are you
Like i always say you are with in me and i am within you

When you ask me who is this "you", that you always write about.
Sweet heart, it's you!!
It's not only you
It's him
It's me

Emotions are a part of me, it's a part of every human being alive on this mighty earth! Without that you won't be alive my friend! 
What are the common emotions we feel, yeah we feel not experience! Why feel! Cause once someone close to my heart told me that! It's the emotions you feel! Feel it! cherish it! But like every other woman on the planet, sometimes i like to hear things that i already know. And if a man is reading my blog right now! Back of his mind... err ...there's no back of mind..it's the mind and it's the logic that makes a man what he is! Yeah when you whisper those sweet nothings into my heart, i feel elated. I feel alive! I feel rejuvenated! But then why go into the deep matrix of thought! Let me stop here! And what we know is there exists something called love! Love makes you go weak in your knees! That's when you feel elated and you feel so much alive! 

"  I want to know that love will surround us!
   And you'll share it with me every day!
   You'll care for me now and forever!
    I'll give anything to hear you say"- Michael learns to Rock!!


  It definitely rocks my world! :) :)

With love comes regret! ha ha ha! Not always though!( The mocking is very much intentional)
Regrets! Who doesn't have any! You have! I have! Even god has! And how on earth i know this! Well c'mon haven't you watched those mythological series that they run on tv every time! hmmmm Now where is this coming from!!! Well Well Well now a days the Buddha wisdom is overflowing! 
So yeah! Regrets!

As the online dictionary says "it's a feeling of disappointment."A longing! A longing of loss or longing for someone! And as they say! It is a state of mind! But i choose to disagree! And why! Cause it's always the mind that heals faster than the heart! Mind has that magical power of forgetting the wounds! But the heart remembers it very well! So it's the heart that regrets not the mind!

There was a time i life, when i proudly used to say! No machaa! I don't have any regrets in life! Not until now! Now look at me, i have a pile lying down somewhere near my rib cage!! 

The intensity or the degree of regretness increases with increasing degree of decision making!

How often you say yes and how often you say no and for that matter how often you compromise or how often you  try!

Like say for example! A very common one! I think the one's into music will agree with me! When you were kids, your parents used to force you into learning music so that you can make use of you gorgeous voice! Or the ones with great skillful fingers, were forced into learning to play any instrument! Why the term"forced into" Well at that tender age half of us don't even know what were our interests! What music our soul registers! And poor parents they ended up forcing us! Phew! Even i had been through such a phase! Trust me it's real pain in the ass, when you don't want to do something and you are made to do it! 

But later in life we realize, oh gawd! i should have done that! I should never have left music! I should have practiced more!( ha ha well in my case i should have at least practiced, kal dhang se riaaz kiya hota to aaj kam-se-kam dhaang se sur to jud jate)...so there comes regret! Like i regret i wish i should have known i would be such a music addict, i should have at least finished my singing lessons! Or at least i should have learnt how to play an electric guitar! Jesus christ! Krishna! Rama! Allah! Whatever religion you follow! So what we end up with, alright maiin nahi to kya hua, mera bachha to shikhega na! There again goes the vicious cycle! Oh gawd! again the same mistake! I am not saying parents are wrong! I am just saying it's again an emotion we feel! Regrets in life!

If you ask me what are my regrets! Well there's a long list!

I wanted to be painter, became a photographer instead!

I wanted to be a singer, became a music addict!

Becoming what you never knew you would become-whether it's a replacement or you learn to compromise with what you have and what you can!

I don't know how this works for you, but for me, i always follow my instincts! 

Why do we cry hopelessly? Why do we tears come from the inside the heart? Why the heart is always wet?

Ever wondered why the heart is wet? Naah you wouldn't have!!! Logically speaking, he he he yeah sometimes i do! Because it pumps blood! 

Once someone told me i have lost my warmth, i have dried up! I have become opaque!

But little did he knew that i was channeling my emotions into my blog! It's good that it stays here! Cause my friend when you have all these feelings flowing through you, you are very vulnerable! 

At least i was! And again one more feeling is that what you feel deep inside you might be wrong so you end up concluding it as a pms! Well it's not! It's not the hormones, it's you! 

Well this i might be wrong comes with all the decision that you make, all the thoughts that you have and even all the instincts that you follow!

Same goes with point of views! If you have one, you are focused! If you have many, does that mean you are not focused! Naah it's just that you are giving it too many thoughts! 

Someone err, difference is he says it on my face and some don't!!! I am  very head strong! I too accept it gracefully! The thing is when you start living your life on your own terms &  conditions and especially when you are away from home, there are moments in life you have to stand against every odd and pass with flying colors, there are moments in life when you have to decide on things that you never knew existed! Such mere things makes you head strong! But then don't you agree, what doesn't kill you, makes you even more stronger!!

Like i always say, it's always you, who is responsible for the place where you stand today! 

So keep breathing and keep living!

Your's
My blue angle it's no crime, to make sweet love in t he moon light!! (wink)