An open letter to my first love

Dear first love,


I remember you as the reason for my ridiculously happy inner child

I remember you as the reason for my insanely happy heart

I remember you as the reason for my incredible pricking pain

I remember you as the reason for my incessant overthinking



I am not sad that you are someone else's
I am not disappointed that you are happy
I am not jealous that you are content
I am not angry that you are no longer mine



Although I feel a little lost sometimes
Although my eyes well up when I write about you
Although I feel a little empty space cropped up inside of me
Although my heart longs for you in a helpless way
Although I feel a little longing for the not-so-love we shared
Although my mind rationalizes with my heart


After all, some first loves are only first loves!
After all, some heart breaks are only heart breaks!


Well we all wonder what could have been, should have been and would have been!
Then isn't it how the mind copes!
Mine developed  several unhealthy coping mechanisms!



Yours

My first love. ALWAYS.