The idea of god!

Today am gonna write about something, that is completely alien to me and you as well. What is your idea of a god? 

I won't say the idea or the concept is completely mine.... Past few days have been unbearable..Somewhere in between all this when i searched for solace, i found a book that somehow rests my ever restless soul..."There is no god" by Khuswant Singh....This was my first book by the open minded and powerful writer..And i loved it...He somehow makes a lot of sense...

Somehow and somewhere deep within i always wonder, if there is a god, is he blind to humanly sufferings? Why does he have to....i don't know whether he exists or not...

And as obviously I can't wait for you forever.I will have to find a way... i will have to search my own set of answers!

If you ask me...Few months back i believed in a god who exists...and like a fool I was blind enough to see the crystal clear truth.... I don't know even now whether he exists or not...But i know his existence somehow boosts morality....Somehow i can see the hope floating above me....

Yeah it's definitely an idea...there is no god.....it's a belief that we have nurtured for years..... Whether or not we have seen him, we know he exists in some form.....

Having said that there is no god, i accept that it's just my perception.... It's like an unexpressed emotion....you feel it but you don't have the guts to deny it or accept it...you know there is no god, it's just an idea of having one supreme force that is above all....Above all humanity..Above you and above me....Something that eventually sets the stage in an imperfect perfection....

Am not an agnostic...i guess something inside me has died long ago to even register the idea of it.....

There have been instances when i find myself chanting those mantras just as a part of my daily routine...I no longer feel the power, i no longer feel the strength.. 

This doesn't mean i have stopped worshiping...I do and i will continue to do so... 

I was once a person who  abstained from food for a day or so for the sake of my strong belief....I was once a person who visited temples to seek the blessings...I continue to do the same and i will... But i only have one question now- why me? why not me?

Many of you will not agree with me and i don't want you to also....It's my perception and like i always say...Perception is what i feel, it's not an obligation...

You agree or disagree with what ever you believe.

Your perception no longer holds a place

Your ideas no longer feed my ego

Ego! Sometimes i think i have one and sometimes i don't!

Sorry! Sometimes i am sorry for everything and sometimes i am not!

Pity! Sometimes i pity myself and sometimes i pity you!

There is no god

He's an idea of hope

He's a replica of you

He's a blinded copy of faith

He's a shadow of believe

He's a bundle of joy

He's a heap of pain

He's a ray of courage

He's a source of superstition

He's a way to escape

He’s a savior

I haven't completely accepted the fact that he doesn't exist...because some part of me still prays for you..cries for you....begs for you...dies for you....yearns for you...lingers for you....

And like i say, i am not the same but i am who i am!!!

Your's

Seek me!