The messed up heart, the entangled soul and the fabricating mind

The very thought of letting you go nearly killed me!
The very thought of you letting me go completely killed me!

I have heard the heart race fast before
But not this fast

I was not scared, ever
I never knew what fear was
But i was yesterday
I was afraid, afraid of the dark
I sensed the fear grilling me
I could hear my own heart thumping loud

This fear, that i speak of now
This fear has been holding me hostage since long
What a fool i was to think that i had overcome it
What a fool i was to think that i had conquered it
Neither it had rested
Nor it had taken the backseat
It was right there, staring at me

I chose to ignore
I chose to acknowledge 
I chose to shut it down

But i chose what i had to

I fabricated my own thoughts
Forcing my bullied mind to believe 
Believe what was fabricated
Believe that it had gone, gone away

But gone where
I always wonder, god knows i do
But do you wonder? Ever? 
Are you as straight as it looks like?
Or are you as twisted as it never looks like?
Am I a fool?
Am I the only one hallucinating
Is it what it looks like
Like the very same moment
Like the very deep memories i never thought i possessed

But then it all makes sense somehow

Will I ever get over it?
Will I ever move on?
Will I ever forget?
Will I ever stop drenching my heart?
Will I ever dry up?
Or have i already?

Yes you were right
Nothing has changed
I haven't changed
I am right there, where i left you
Still I breathe
Still I think of you
Still my heart beats for you
Still I smile when someone mentions you
Still I cry when someone mentions you
Still I love you
Still I do

Time never heals! But what it does is- creating a cobweb around the memories 
So when you think about it- it is foggy
But as soon as you clear up the mess- it is crystal clear


Your's
The messed up heart, the entangled soul and the fabricating mind