And all i need is you

Sometimes all i need is you
Sometimes all i need is a friend
Sometimes all i need is a listener
Sometimes all i need is a confider
Sometimes all i need is a silent company
Sometimes all i need is a little extra love
Sometimes all i need is a lot more peace

Sometimes all i need is you
Sometimes all i need is you

Sometimes all i don't need is a well wisher
Sometimes all i don't need is another nag
Sometimes all i don't need is one more excuse
Sometimes all i don't need is a favor
Sometimes all i don't need is another wrong reason
Sometimes all i don't need is another lie

Sometimes all i don't need is you
Sometimes all i don't need is you

Your's
Be my friend, i will be your friend
Be my well wisher and i will cut you off

I miss my free soul

There i was gazing at the ceiling, early in the morning. What caught my fancy was a small shadow. Shadows as they call it, but have you ever wondered what a shadow is?
Have you ever wondered whether you have a shadow or not?
Well there are hell lot of things to wonder about, but do you wonder or do you actually wander??

When i looked into that small shadow, it was not the shadow that caught my fancy, it was the reflection of the shadow that made me gaze at it even harder. I saw the reflection grow gradually and then shrink back to its original self. Shrinking back to the original self, is that possible? When you start growing in a relationship, you start falling and you start loving and treasuring every bit of it. In that case, is it even possible to shrink back  to the previous unhatched state? No it's not. At least i think it this way. Because when you grow, you are too naive to even realize it.  That's when you go with the flow not along the flow. But then going with the flow and going along the flow, how different are they?
When you have to step out of the way, that is when you actually understand the difference between them. Before that, it's all a fairy tale. Fairy tales look  pretty in books not in real life :P Then it all becomes a tale. A tale of life, that lightens away with each passing year.

But don't they usually say shadows are always the darker side and reflections are the whiter or brighter side of every free soul? Free soul. It makes me smile and at the same time it brings a teardrop. When you soul is free, you are happy. The moment it is held hostage, the very same moment you are excited. But few moments later it brings you that crashing, self destructive pain that kills you from within. That very moment you wish you never had a soul. I read it or i heard it but somewhere and somehow, they say you are allotted a few teardrops per person? Is there even a person, let's say for anything that jolts you. That shakes you. That breaks you. But somehow and anyhow, i don't know how and why i feel that is not entirely true. Sometimes i don't understand whether it's the person or the relationship or the sense of an ending that dampens me?

But then wondering is what  i am good at.....I do it because it rests my ever restless mind! I do it because it is therapeutic...And who says no to free therapy ;)


Your's
Maiin tumhari parchaayi hun
Mujhe mujhse juda na karo!
Ho sake to mujhe apne aks mein sama lo!

Best thing i never had

Well the song, it's copied and modified!

The original one is sung so beautifully that it inspired me to make one....


You have been gone for not so long now
Chasing everything that's real
I've not forgotten how i got here, it was hell of a ride
Though i have not forgotten you

I was just a girl but i opened my red heart
And you were all that i could see
You came close enough to know my heart even beats
Still not close enough for me

Through the good times and the bad
You are the best i never had
The only chance i wish i get
To ask you, was it true? was it even there?

There was no writing on the wall
No schedule to follow
No precautions to take
I know now and i just can't forget 
You are the best i will never have

In this loneliness
Well pass midnight
When i am bluer than a bruise
You came drifting in through the bright moonlight
In your gorgeous white shirt
That's the sound of your laugh

And i hope this song i'am writing
Someday finds you
My letter to you

Through the good times and the bad
You are the best i never had
The only chance i wish i have to take
To ask if you ever loved me

And there is no one to stop me
No caution to take
No signs to follow
You are the best i never had

You have been gone for not so long now
Chasing everything that's real
I've not forgotten how i got here, it was hell of a ride
Though i have not forgotten you

Your's
Mad
Inspired
Crazy
Burned soul

Ahhh! There's always a sign!

The epic ring goes missing! 
Some unknown person smiles at me! And not just some plastic smile! A big bright smile!
Cat crosses my path but am delivered in one piece!
I dream of you!
I dream about big mountains and beautiful blue green water sea water all around!
And what is unusual! I am unusually happy!
That dampening of my soul is not there!

So as always and as usual i was just wondering whether is this a sign??

A sign! Ha ha ha ha! Does that even exist!

The ring goes meaning! The first thought that hits me is wow am free now! Free of the guilt, free of the bondage and free of the superstition! 

Some unknown person smiles at me! The second thought that hits me, wooaaaa! I know her??
But somehow, when people smile at you, it activates that imaginary "happy center" in the mid brain! 
Now you must be wondering, how can a person be so happy for such trifle things! But my dear! when the happy center is suppressed and depressed by a drug called you, even small trifle things makes her day! What an irony! You used make her day and you used to make her night! Never mind! She will find "you" again! (pun intended)

You amaze me sometimes
What are you made of!
You are ready to die for me
You are ready to kill me for me
You are ready to grow old with me
You are ready to burn with me
You are ready to breach the wall
You are ready to jump the boundary!
But you are not ready to accept a simple truth!
But you are not ready to run away!
But you are not ready hold it back!

Sometimes i just wonder, are these my mere perceptions! Did i ever know you enough to anticipate the truth? Whatever i presumed, was it even there??

And they say, there's always a sign! Sign! han! How do you define it? Errr... Something that gives or provides some vague idea about what is going to happen? mmmhmmmm! For that matter, the same is true for that factual fact that life has a lots in it's retail store for us! But then why do we end up saying or consoling... i think that is more appropriate! Yeah why do we end up consoling our existence that "you are the best thing i never had"....I wish i would have known it from before! But then isn't that karma??? Of course it is! We don't know what is going to happen next! Neither or nor i wanna know what's next! I want my life to unfold it's mysteries even further! I just want to see, how far and how bad will i be able to sustain "the burn"... And as always...what doesn't kill you, makes you even more stronger! Unsolved mystery like life creates a restlessness inside you! Why you are still alive? This particular restlessness keeps you going and keeps you on the bar ;) I hope you know what i mean!

Look there was a sign! 
Look deep and further!
Look into the wild!
Look into the wilderness!
Follow your instincts!
Follow your intuitions!
Follow your shadow!
Follow your heart! 

I don't know whether there's always a sign or we make it up! 
I don't know whether there's always a caution or we follow it up!
I don't know whether  there's always a yes or we make it up!
I don't know whether am always this kind or i just follow my madness!


Your's 
If you find a sign, take me along
If you don't find a sign, leave me alone!

The surprise element!

The other day me and my good friend got to chit chat over something that every other person in the world wants- life full of surprises
And to be very precise- surprises!

Surprises can be good 
Surprises can be bad
Surprises can be bold
Surprises can be weak
Surprises can be hot
Surprises can be cold

It can be anything and everything! 

But have you ever wondered what surprises you?
Is it me?
Is it the inside me?

Naah, you wouldn't wonder! Because you wander! You don't wonder!
Or may be the "you" inside me wonders too much!

Talking of surprises, have you ever wondered why some people surprise you?
I am not talking about the surprises that you plan for someone you love! Naah it's not that! It's way ahead! 
Sometimes and somehow, the way people react for that matter! The way they do, leaves you baffled! There you go! Surprised! Not yet! Brace yourselves, a lot more to come!

You don't how they function
You don't know how they stop
You don't know how they shut down
All you know is how you malfunction
All you know is how you start
All you know is how you open up

Let's be optimistic. Let's say, they have a surprise element in them, then it's hell of a ride! You will rediscover them every single day and probably if you are bold enough to love them to death, you will never get saturated with their love! But wait a minute, does this concept of "having a surprise element" - makes you unpredictable?? Naaah that's altogether a very different school of thought! 
But partly i too will agree that, people with that surprise element, are very unpredictable! But then it all comes to one thing" you are the way you are" and "i am the way i am". 

But there is this one thing that never leaves me, rather a thought! You surprise people, is it because you are incapable of sharing your inner soul with others? Is that the reason for your insanity? But then for that matter, haven't you tried showing your wild side to the outside world?
Haven't you exposed your inner side a little? A little? (pun intended)
How does that make you feel?
Unprotected, hurt and very very fragile??
What my point is, may be you are incapable of or afraid of getting yourself killed again.
That's probably the reason you are the way you are!

But then who doesn't want surprises..... To be very particular the good ones :) At least i know i crave for it... Bad surprises!!!! Are not surprises! They are shockers an trust me nobody wants them! 
And i am not surprised, how you reacted!!! Surprises!! Voooolaaa!

Night after night,
You loved me back  to life
From the coma
The wait is over - Celine Dion


Yours
I want somebody, who will love me to death
I want somebody, who will rediscover me until my last breath
I want somebody, who will lay beside me every night under the starlit sky

I want that somebody to be you!